Experiment #2: Green beans and mushrooms in black bean sauce

Sigh. This was yet another near-failure, but we managed to eat dinner that night, so it was OK.

Here were the major issues:
1. I couldn't find fermented black beans at HMart. I wandered that store forever and couldn't find any black beans labeled "fermented" or "salted." I found the aisle where such items were likely kept—it was filled with dried beans and vegetables of many varieties—but none seemed to fit the description. I ended up buying the closest thing I could find to a photo I saw of a package of fermented beans: a bag of Choripdong dried black beans that simply said, "BLACK BEANS INSIDE GREEN." No idea what this means. For the rest of the day an angry Asian lady shrieked "BLACK BEANS INSIDE GREEN!" in my head in a thick accent.

2. The wok, or maybe stir-fry pan, we have is very small. I think it's meant to make one (small) serving of stir-fry at a time. I don't know what its actual function is; John had it when we started dating. Anyway, the thing's freakin' tiny, and was hard to cook in.

So, with these two problems duly noted, here's what happened.

I was feeling good while chopping up my green beans and shiitake shrooms. I like both of these items, so I was looking forward to what I thought would be a pretty manageable and delicious recipe, courtesy again of Gordon Ramsay. Everything went along fine until I actually started cooking. The pan was so small that I had to cook one meal at a time—not a big deal for just two people, right? I halved the recipes for the sauce and set to work, dropping my little "fermented black beans" into the pan.

Ha. Hahaha. These were not fermented black beans. These were just regular dried black beans. I didn't know it at first, though. I've never seen or used a fermented black bean in my life. I just kind of puzzled over the fact that they were sitting there, not doing much. No interesting scents or luscious juices were released in the cooking oil. They just... sizzled. Eventually I realized that I'd fucked up, again.

No matter. It was dinner time. I plowed ahead with the recipe, making two helpings of what turned out to be a bean-and-mushroom stir-fry with brown rice on the side. I also added these little, frozen "leek pies" that I found at HMart. (The bag the pies came in was tied with a lovely red ribbon. As I untied it, I thought of the factory worker in China who'd tied the ribbon. What would he or she think if they could see me, a spoiled American girl, eating the pies with her horribly prepared version of their national cuisine?)

It was a healthy dinner to be sure, but probably not what Ramsay had in mind. Again I imagined a red-faced Ramsay screaming, "YOU FUCKING DONKAAY!" and throwing my shitty meal in the garbage.

The stir-fry tasted good enough, reminiscent of the easy stir-frys my mom used to make when I was young. The green beans didn't quite cook through all the way, which was sad. It was probably something stupid that I did, but I'll blame it on the tiny wok. The black beans just got really hard and did nothing. I never did see the INSIDE GREEN. Next time, in the absence of fermented beans, I'd make a simple stir-fry using the same sauce recipe, easing up a little on the wine and vinegar. Also, I'd use just a regular skillet instead of the stupid baby wok.

If there's one thing I'm learning from my Chinese month, it's that Chinese food can be very forgiving. If you mess something up a little, it's not going to turn your meal into a vile disaster. It'll just be kind of... off.

(Also, looking at the recipe again, I'm realizing that they did have the beans I needed: Fermented black soybeans, not regular black beans. I am bad at this.)

Gordon Ramsay's green beans and mushrooms in black bean sauce
14 oz. green beans, trimmed
8 oz. shiitake mushrooms
2 Tbsp vegetable or peanut oil
1 Tbsp fermented black beans, rinsed and dried
2 large garlic cloves, peeled and chopped

Sauce
2 Tbsp Chinese rice vinegar
2 Tbsp Shaoxing
2 Tbsp light soy sauce
1 Tbsp oyster sauce
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp cornstarch, mixed with t Tbsp water

Cut green beans into finger lengths and finely slice mushrooms. Mix together sauce ingredients and set aside. Heat the oil in a wok over medium-high heat. Tip in the black beans and garlic and saute for 30 seconds or so, until fragrant. Add the green beans with a little splash of water. Stir-fry for 2 minutes, then add mushrooms. Stir-fry for another minute or two.

Pour the sauce over the vegetables and toss well. Simmer for a couple of minutes until the sauce begins to thicken and the green beans are tender but still retain a slight crunch. Transfer to a warm plate and serve.

Recipe: 5/5
My performance: 3/5